Trauma is not just something we experience but also things are parents and grandparents experienced.  Trauma gets passed down through generations.  When the generations before us don't heal from their experiences, we are left with the consequences.  This includes guilt, shame, the need to help others, the inability to help ourselves, poor boundaries, and broken relationships.  You aren't responsible for fixing the past, you are responsible for fixing the present and to help future generations not start from a fundamentally broken place.  
Breaking these traumas, curses or patterns (however you label them) is a difficult task.  You are strong, you are powerful, and you are brave.  Most days will be difficult, but they will get easier, and at the other end is a beautiful shining sun and endless possibilities not just for you, but for the next generation.  You are a superhero.

Your inner voice is not always your friend.  When you are depressed or anxiety your inner voice may be your worst enemy.  Cognitive Distortions get in the way of our rational mind and positive thinking.  One mistake does not make us a loser or terrible.  We make mistakes all the time.  Rarely is one mistake world ending.  Remind yourself that no one is perfect and if someone was perfect they would probably be obnoxious.

Many times we find ourselves choosing to self destruct when things start going well.  This happens for many different reasons.

• Some people subconsciously don't believe they deserve good things and so they make unhealthy choices
• Some people have chemical imbalances in their brain that cause them to seemingly suddenly start making unhealthy choices
• Some people don't know what healthy choices are
• Some people are so focused on what can go wrong that they create a self-fulfilling pattern of things going wrong.

When you find yourself making unhealthy, self-destructive choices, stop and ask yourself what other options you have and what will truly will help you reach your goals.
We can unlearn old patterns.  Have patience and compassion for yourself.

Today will not be a full day if it is already occupied by yesterday. The power of journalling at night before bed is many fold:
1. You process the days events.
2. You can get out emotions and it holds no judgements about what you write.
3. It is a part of a healthy sleep routine.
​4. You can look back with compassion and see how far you have come.

If you find yourself apologizing throughout the day, you may need to focus on self-care. Over apologizing is a symptom of trauma.
​1. Do something to center/ground yourself.
​2. Remind yourself of your strengths.
​3. Ask your self what you are apologizing for.

• You do not need to apologize for existing.​
• You do not need to apologize for someone else's behaviors​.
• You do not need to apologize for someone else's emotional baggage.
• ​You do not need to apologize for setting boundaries.
• You DO need to apologize for your own actions that unknowingly broke someone else's boundary.​

5. Be compassionate with yourself and remember old traumas can affect us when we are stressed, burned out, or triggered. It is okay to slip into old patterns, but recognize it and get back on track.